Curated 004: Two Steps to Build Emotional Intelligence

Thirukkural’s timeless Kurals on self-awareness, calmness, empathy & resilience—ancient wisdom for Emotional Intelligence.

குறள் 3  (To check)


True leadership rests on four unwavering qualities—fearlessness, generosity, wisdom, and steady perseverance.
Why it fits Emotional Intelligence: These qualities reflect core EI skills: managing fear, empathic giving, clear thinking under pressure, and sustained self-regulation—making this Kural a blueprint for emotionally intelligent leadership.

A true leader stays rooted in virtue, removes what is wrong, and protects with steady courage, earning honor through unwavering character.
Why it aligns with emotional intelligence: Because EI requires regulating one’s values, correcting harmful behaviors, and responding to challenges with composed strength — exactly the inner steadiness and moral clarity this Kural describes.


A leader who is easy to approach and speaks without harshness naturally earns the sincere praise of the people.
Why EI? This belongs to emotional intelligence because it requires awareness of one’s tone, control over emotional reactions, and the ability to make others feel safe, respected, and heard.

A leader whose speech is gentle and whose actions genuinely support and protect others naturally sees people align with his vision.
Why it fits Emotional Intelligence: Because emotional intelligence is the ability to understand emotions, communicate with kindness, build psychological safety, and earn trust through consistent action—exactly the qualities this Kural elevates as the foundation of true influence.

A leader who establishes justice (murai/murai) and protects others with consistency becomes deeply trusted and revered by the people he serves.
Why it fits Emotional Intelligence: Because this kural describes the core EQ skill of leadership — understanding people’s fears, creating safety, acting with fairness, and earning trust through emotionally attuned, protective behavior rather than authority.

குறள் 389
செவிகைப்பச் சொற்பொறுக்கும் பண்புடை வேந்தன்
கவிகைக்கீழ்த் தங்கும் உலகு

A noble ruler’s true strength is shown in patiently listening to harsh criticism without reacting impulsively.
Link to Emotional Intelligence:
This kural highlights the core of emotional intelligence: the ability to manage one's emotions, separate truth from insult, and respond with clarity instead of reactivity.

குறள் 391
கற்க கசடறக் கற்பவை கற்றபின்
நிற்க அதற்குத் தக

True learning emerges from a purified mind, choosing only worthy knowledge, and living in alignment with that wisdom.
Link to Emotional Intelligence:
This Kural is categorized under Emotional Intelligence because it emphasizes self-awareness, emotional clarity, and the alignment of actions with inner values, all core components of emotional mastery.

குறள் 392
எண்ணென்ப ஏனை எழுத்தென்ப இவ்விரண்டும் 
கண்ணென்ப வாழும் உயிர்க்கு

Reasoning (எண்/eṇ)—the ability to measure, compare, and work with numbers—and understanding (எழுத்து/eḻuttu)—the ability to interpret language and meaning—are compared to the “eyes” that make life visible, navigable, and meaningful.

Why Emotional Intelligence:
Because emotional intelligence begins with accurately perceiving situations and interpreting meaning before reacting — exactly the two faculties this kural names as the “eyes” of wise living.

குறள் 393

கண்ணுடையர் என்பவர் கற்றோர் முகத்திரண்டு
புண்ணுடையர் கல்லா தவர்

True sight belongs only to those who learn, for ignorance makes even clear eyes misread people and situations.

Why Emotional Intelligence?
Because emotional intelligence depends on accurate perception, this kural teaches that without learning, we misinterpret emotions, intentions, and relationships—creating unnecessary hurt.

குறள் 394
உவப்பத் தலைக்கூடி உள்ளப் பிரிதல்
அனைத்தே புலவர் தொழில்

A truly learned person brings joy when they meet others and leaves with such grace that people wish to meet them again.

Why this fits Emotional Intelligence:
This kural reflects core EQ skills—self-regulation, empathy, and relational awareness—because it teaches how one’s presence, tone, and conduct shape the emotional quality of every interaction.

குறள் 403
கல்லா தவரும் நனிநல்லர் கற்றார்முன்
சொல்லா திருக்கப் பெறின்.

குறள் 411
செல்வத்துட் செல்வஞ் செவிச்செல்வம் அச்செல்வம்
செல்வத்து ளெல்லாந் தலை

குறள் 421
அறிவற்றங் காக்குங் கருவி செறுவார்க்கும்
உள்ளழிக்க லாகா அரண்.








Greatness sets a prudent boundary (அஞ்சும்/anchum) from low-character circles, while smallness adopts smallness as kin (சுற்றம்/sutram) and becomes enclosed by it.
Why EI? It aligns with emotional intelligence through self-regulation and social awareness—compassionate boundary-setting, discerning company selection, and resisting toxic norms to protect one’s values and identity.

A person’s wisdom arises from their own mind, but how the world perceives them depends on the company they keep.
Why EI? This Kural reflects self-awareness and social awareness—the twin pillars of emotional intelligence—showing that inner clarity must harmonize with the relationships that shape one’s outer identity.

A person’s wisdom is not judged by thoughts alone but by the nature of the companions they keep.
Why EI? It belongs to emotional intelligence because understanding and choosing the right company requires self-awareness, social awareness, and the ability to manage emotional influence within relationships.

A pure mind and pure actions arise naturally from the purity of one’s company.
Why EI? It belongs to emotional intelligence because our emotional clarity and self-regulation are deeply shaped by the moods, values, and emotional tone of those we surround ourselves with.

A clear mind sustains life, and noble company uplifts reputation.
Why EI? It aligns with emotional intelligence because it teaches self-awareness and social discernment — managing one’s inner state and choosing relationships that nurture balance and harmony.

Purity of mind leads to lasting good, but that goodness remains secure only in the shelter of noble company.
Why EI? This Kural highlights social self-regulation—the awareness that emotional and moral stability depend on surrounding oneself with people who reinforce clarity, empathy, and discipline. It reflects the EI principle that environment shapes sustained inner balance and ethical decision-making.

True strength lies in choosing good company that uplifts, for no support equals it; and no misery equals the downfall caused by bad company.
Why EI? This Kural reflects emotional awareness and social regulation — recognizing how relationships shape one’s mindset, choices, and resilience, the very core of emotional intelligence.
Before beginning any action, one must weigh its losses, gains, right means, and results, and act only after thoughtful deliberation.
Why EI?
This Kural reflects emotional intelligence by urging awareness before action — mastering impulse, regulating emotion, and making decisions through calm reasoning rather than haste or desire.

The wise never act for profit if it risks losing their foundation or well-being.
Why EI? It reflects emotional regulation and self-awareness — the ability to pause, evaluate consequences, and avoid impulsive choices that harm long-term stability.

The wise do not begin an act without clarity, for those who fear moral fault more than failure act only after thoughtful discernment.
Why EI? This Kural reflects self-awareness and emotional regulation—the ability to pause, assess, and act with integrity rather than impulse, which lies at the heart of emotional intelligence.

Meaning: Acting without full reflection strengthens the very forces that defeat us; wise action begins only after complete understanding.
Why EI? The Kural embodies emotional intelligence by teaching self-regulation—pausing to examine impulses, emotions, and outcomes before acting, turning awareness into mastery.

Meaning: The wise neither act in haste nor freeze in hesitation — both excess and neglect destroy balance.
Why EI? This Kural aligns with Emotional Intelligence because it teaches self-regulation — mastering one’s impulses and fears to act with composed clarity and ethical balance.

Meaning: The Kural cautions that when confidence exceeds preparation — when one assumes readiness without testing adequacy — the effort, however praised, will fail.
Link to Emotional Intelligence: It belongs here because it exposes a lapse in emotional self-awareness: mistaking optimism or overconfidence for capability. Emotional intelligence requires not just motivation but the humility to assess one’s limits, calibrate effort, and align inner readiness with outer action — the maturity to know that enthusiasm is not adequacy.

Meaning – True strength lies in knowing yourself, your limits, and others before acting.
Link to Emotional Intelligence: It relates to emotional intelligence because it trains self-awareness, empathy, and impulse control — the ability to pause, assess, and respond with clarity instead of emotion.





The Charioteer Within: Mastery is not suppressing emotions (anger, fear, joy, pride, sad, lust, greed), but guiding their wild energy with wisdom and balance. Inspired by Nicholas Roerich’s mystical clarity